So I am out templating some vanities on Lummi Island. Just working away and minding my own business. I walk out of the garage to grab an extention cord, and this bird walks by the door. Not just any bird, but the Pheasant from Hell. I stop and look at this bird standing less than three feet away from me. He looks back. I think to myself, (why is this bird looking at me?) So I try to ignore it as I walk toward my truck, but it follows me with anger in its beadly little eyes. I am a little confused, but I grab the cord and get back out of the truck. The bird at this point is literally under my feet. I make a gesture to try to scare it away, but instead the bird lunges toward me! I get back in the bed of my truck and grab a long piece of wood. I try to use this piece of wood to chase off this devil bird, but it goes crazy and starts attacking the piece of wood. It pecks and uses its claws as if it were a velociraptor of sorts. So, I get out of the other side of the truck and walk to the garage and the demon chases me.
I cross the threshold of the garage and the thing runs back and forth across the front of the garage making threatening noises. I finish my work, and pack up my tools quickly, and as I am leaving I try to run the thing over, but it’s not even fazed by my driving a truck towards him. So I just leave. I am never going back to the lair of the demon bird. And this is a true story of my life.
The Killer Bird